This past weekend we took a little road trip with Miller. First, we headed to the coast and stayed at the Falcon Point Ranch. We went for a swim, had dinner, and the boys went fishing for who knows what at the end of the pier in the dark.
Saturday the boys got up early to go fish and the mommas and babies weathered the weather. It's raining, it's sunny. Raining. Sunny. Rain. We napped, had a nice lunch, and then hopped in the car and drove to San Antonio for a housewarming. As usual, Miller was a ham but he had to hit the sack-which he thankfully did-while we caught up with some old friends.
Miller is having lots of fun in his jumperoo (and has subsequently broken up with his exersaucer) these days but he's still a bit wobbly. With decreased tone in his trunk and increased tone in his arms + legs, it's hard to be in control of everything...but we are working on it. Everything is connected. I never realized how many individual parts have to work together just to do something as simple as crawl. It's all just such a slow process, and we never really know if we're doing enough or if we're in the right place. If he had heart problems, we'd take him to the best heart surgeon in the country. He'd have a team of specialsts on his side. Why is it so tough to find the right people for this team? Why is it so hard to know if we're headed in the right direction? There's certainly no shortage of preemies, and unfortunately, we're finding that there's no shortage of brain injuries. I need a coach. A trainer. Someone to tell me where, why, how much, how often. What not to waste time and energy on. Someone to break it down, and build us up. Mr. Miyagi.
Not that we're not making progress, because we are. It's just easy to question yourself when there's no solid protocol, no rules to the game. My greatest fear is to fail him in some way. Because I didn't do enough research or therapy, or ask the right questions. This notion keeps me on my toes. That, and of course that funny little munchkin man and his endless antics.