Search This Blog

Friday, August 1, 2008

This bag is NOT a toy

Try telling that to Miller. Same for the remote, my cell phone, the Triscuit box, and my laptop...which is now in some crazy format that I cannot undo and most websites are not even viewable to me anymore. Except for the box of crackers and the plastic bags, Miller has some pretty expensive toys. It's not like we don't give him his own toys to play with. You just can't pull a fast one on him. You don't realize how many things you use glad ziplocs for until it becomes a major ordeal when your little one hears that familiar crinkle or just happens to see you try to sneak one by. Now I understand why that obvious warning is on all plastic bags. It's tempting to just let them have the darned things.

We just had Miller's 12/15 month checkup and Dr. M likes what he sees. He noticed Miller seems more relaxed (which means less stiff and spastic but he doesn't want to say this to me) and has an improved range of motion. He also thinks he's pretty much on schedule cognitively, but of course, 'no promises'. I couldn't wait to weigh him and I was expecting that scale to say 22 or 23 lbs. Nope. He's just under 19 he's actually lost about a pound but he grew an inch and a quarter. He's still in about the 3rd percentile for height/weight/head growth for a 15 month old-which he of course is not.

We decided to take a pass on shots this time, 'just in case', but we'll be getting them next time we go in September. Since everything with vaccines is a big ordeal these days, we took a peace of mind pass-though I don't really buy into the current theories. Just the same, no harm in spacing them out a bit.

Manual therapy is REALLY helping Miller. He is much more flexible, has better range of motion, and his body feels more soft and supple. Just a few months ago he felt like a baby body builder because his muscles were so tight. It seems to be giving him some freedom to get back on track developmentally. Not necessarily caught up, but back on the track. That's where OT comes in. We are supposed to be working on fine and gross motor skills...with initial goals of sitting unassisted and crawling...and I guess we are. In order for Miller to succeed in OT, he really has to become more comfortable with another person handling him. Being locked up for the 1st year of his life has made him a little more of a momma's boy than he might have been had he made a timely entrance. Slowly, he is relaxing in therapy and we are getting more accomplished. We are probably going to begin PT again soon to complement his OT + manual therapy. At the moment, we're all encouraged!

We made it to Chicago and back all in one collective piece. I was surprised that the travel, with a little extra preparation and a couple of minor glitches, was relatively easy. I was all proud of myself as we marched through the airport to our gate. Most airport personnel were helpful or at least patient, and Miller was an absolute angel. It probably didn't hurt that he was flirting with everyone who looked his way. I feared that he'd be overwhelmed with the hustle + bustle, but he was in a giggle mood and that was a gift. When we took off, I gave him a bottle as recommended by mothers who had navigated these waters before me. Ears popped, no problemo. To keep him busy in the beginning, I shared the potatoes from my breakfast taco with him. And then we 'encountered some turbulence' and I encountered some vomitance. Not spit up. Puke. The gods of travel were hazing me and I was not going to be broken! After some cleanup (with my permasmile in place), I took Miller to the back of the plane for a little pre-nap shhing and rocking. One particularly miserable flight attendant kept telling me I was blocking the bathrooms (which I was not) and that we needed to return to our seat. We ignored her. Motherhood has given me a newfound sense of confidence, in all types of situations, to just do the best thing for my child. Whether it's the in thing to do or not. When we were good and ready, we did return to our seat, and Miller promptly fell asleep. When he awoke, it was almost time to land, so we passed the rest of the time either playing the 'Boooiiiiinnng!' game, or looking out the window.

Samantha + Miller

Being in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people was the big challenge for Miller. He wasn't always his sunny self, but he wasn't necessarily a crab either. Just a little out of sorts for a few days. His sleep patterns were nonexistent and in turn, so were mine. He was more comfortable in some situations than others, and occasionally let someone other than me hold him. Big props to MLP for being an ANGEL in church! He was not the baby who was crying during my Godson's Christening, thank God. We survived it, and now we know we can do it all by ourselves...though it would have been a piece of cake if daddy were there.

Didi, her son Bexley, MLP, + me

Last Saturday was a little tough on me because it was Miller's original due date. Yes, I know, babies rarely arrive on the exact day scheduled (unless they are actually scheduled), but it's still the day we thought would be Miller's birthday. A Leo. But he's a Taurus and that still stings. Mostly, I celebrated, concentrating on what a blessing it is that he's here, he's healthy, and we're on a good path. But I'm human. And when I look into his sweet little face, I still feel guilty that he came too soon...I want to fix it all and I still sometimes wonder if I could have changed anything. I am sure this is a big part of what propels me to endlessly search the Internet, make countless calls, read until my head hurts...about what we might be able to do to help him reach his highest potential. What has been sticking with me lately is the fact that he wasn't born like this, with a brain injury. It's a post-birth injury, though it's most likely due to his early arrival. He was going to be born normal, without any extra or missing parts, and something happened. It's all so unfair to him and the weight of that is still wedged firmly in my heavy heart. We went to a wedding that evening, and toasted someone else's new beginning.

Sunday was better! We went for a drive and decided to finally eat at Trattoria Lisina out on 1826. Delish! Andy + Paula met us there for 'appetizers', which we must have ordered enough of for a 6 course meal.
DP, MLP, + me at Trattoria Lisina

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It is just instinct for most mothers to think they "could" have done something different or "can" be doing something different to better their children, don't be so hard on yourself(easier said than done..I know.) Miller is absolutly beautiful and has already proven himself to be fighter! Children are far more resilient then we give them credit for!!

Traci :)